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writing
as Denise Dietz |
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Strangle a Loaf of Italian Bread
The
Landlord's Black-Eyed Daughter
Chain a Lambchop to the Bed | Eye
of Newt | Footprints in the
Butter
Fifty Cents for Your Soul | Throw
Darts at a Cheesecake | Beat Up A Cookie
Deni's Appearance Schedule & Photo Gallery
Deni's
Editing Service | About the Author | Links
FREE NOVELLA: Dream Angel
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When Barbra Streisand clone, Sara Lee, is strangled with a Daffy Duck necktie, prior to the open auditions for a community theatre production of Hello, Dolly!, diet club leader Ellie Bernstein wants to know why everybody didn’t like Sara Lee. Ellie’s significant other, homicide detective Peter Miller, wants her to keep her lovely, overly sensitive nose out of his business. He’s deathly afraid he’ll find her trashed in the Dumpster that overshadows the alley in back of Uncle Vinnie’s Gourmet Italian Restaurant—the backdrop for Sara Lee’s murder. But Ellie doggedly pursues a rollercoaster of clues, even though her daily routine is disrupted by a Border Collie named Scout Finch Lester. Ellie—who has never been owned by a dog—agrees to dog-sit a diet club member’s beloved pet. Only problem is, Scout’s owner seems to have disappeared into Thin air. Eventually, Ellie’s search for Sara Lee’s killer lands her at the Hello, Dolly! auditions. Only problem is, Ellie can’t sing or dance... |
Read an Excerpt from Strangle a Loaf of Italian Bread Order from A May 2009 release from Five Star Publishing! Read the novella Dream Angel |
Praise for Strangle a Loaf of Italian bread "Denise Dietz is like Robert B. Parker on estrogen. Her heroine, diet guru Ellie Bernstein, is fiendishly clever and uproariously funny. Trust me, this is not your maiden auntie’s murder mystery." ~ Marshall Karp, The Rabbit Factory
"Denise Dietz creates real characters who act like people. She gives you a puzzling mystery. She writes dialogue that sounds like people talking. And she's funny. What else do you want?" ~ Jeffrey Cohen, author of the Double Feature Mystery series
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Chain a Lamb Chop to the Bed |
Available at all book stores or from Wildside Press,
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Beat
Up a Cookie #2 in the Diet Club Mystery Series by Denise Dietz Also Available in Large Print |
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Ellie Bernstein is still a fan of the TV series M*A*S*H. So are a lot of other people in Colorado Springs. After having lost fifty-five (and a half!) pounds, Ellie sure looks a lot like Hot Lips, but that claim to fame might prove dangerous. There's a killer on the loose, and the show's look-alikes are being murdered. "Clever and amusing..." Publishers Weekly
"Bernstein is a wonderful heroine...now that she's gotten rid of her philandering husband and kept off those extra 55 pounds, she can revel in her job, her earthy affair with Lt. Peter Miller, and her search for the killer." Kirkus |
Available at all book stores or from Wildside Press, Large Print |
Throw Darts at a
Cheesecake #1 in the Diet Club Mystery Series by Denise Dietz Also Available in Large Print |
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 Amazon.ca Amazon.com Barnes & Noble |
One by one a diet club's biggest losers are being murdered. Is some jealous member of the Friday meeting a secret killer? Could this be a demented psycho's weight-loss tecnique---eliminate the competition? Diet club leader Ellie Bernstein has to watch her back as well as her calories before she finds herself on the most permanent diet of all...death. "This mystery features zany characters and zippy one-liners..." "Denise Dietz proves that losing weight can be a killer." "A bright and funny new heroine, brisk and clever
writing, and wonderfully snappy dialogue." |
Large Print |
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Together, Rand and his “ bonny Bess” share a series of adventures. Together they share a cell in Newgate Prison. All the while Bess is haunted by a 13th-Century tale of love and treachery. She feels that she and Rand have lived before, and that she betrayed him. Bess escapes Newgate, but Rand is brought to trial. Only a royal pardon can save him. Bess writes an eloquent speech in which Rand begs that his life be spared, but he cannot bring himself to say the false words that would set him free. Has Bess somehow betrayed Rand again? Or can they transcend the ghosts of their past and triumph over the threats of the present? |
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Reviews for The Landlord's Black-Eyed Daughter... Booklist
Top 10 in Romance Fiction Elizabeth Wyndham is "more likely to be attacked by an army of frogs" than find a husband. Fortunately, she is the star author of Minerva Press, a dubious occupation for a lady in 1787, but it pays her bills, as well as her father’s debts. Unfortunately, Elizabeth doesn’t want to finish her latest book because she’ll have to finish off her hero, too, a man who has dominated her dreams. Rand Remington has returned from the war in the colonies wounded in body and soul. His innocent niece has been hung in his absence, and Rand’s revenge against the injustices of the wickedly cavalier upper class is to relieve them of their worldly goods and spread the wealth among the poor. Exhausted from his latest heist, Rand opts to relax by reading a gothic novel by B. B. Wyndham he’s stolen from his latest victim. Much to his surprise, the plot and characters evoke an overwhelming sense of déjà vu, and he’s driven to meet the author. Star-crossed lovers in a former life, Elizabeth and her highwayman face insurmountable odds. Dennis’ wonderful retelling of Alfred Noyes’ The Highwayman is, quite simply, remarkable. ~ Shelley Mosley "Take one highly successful Gothic romance writer who just happens to be an innkeeper's daughter; add one disillusioned, devil-may-care highwayman who robs only the rich on principle; set them down in the turbulent, hypocritical times of late 18th-century England; season with a dash of humor, a splash of the paranormal, and a dollop of danger; and let the adventures begin. Loosely based on Alfred Noyes's poem "The Highwayman," with Robin Hood elements and a hint of Romeo and Juliet tossed in for good measure, this tale, for all its lively romance and adventure, takes on some serious social issues of the times, specifically the privilege of wealth and the inherent injustices it causes. A fast pace, fluid writing, and an exceptionally well-crafted plot make this an enjoyable read." ~Library Journal “The Landlord’s Black-Eyed Daughter engages the reader in an exhilarating romp throughout 18th century England, with adventure at every turn and spine-tingling suspense. Combined with heated romance, accurate historical facts and nonstop action, this book will suit any adult reader. Characters and dialogue are compelling, historical facts not only interesting but fascinating, and the plot one that simply will not allow the book to be set aside until finished. An exceptional, superbly written book. Highly recommended.” ~ Christy Tillery French for Midwest Book Review "If you've been yearning for an old-fashioned romantic adventure, THE LANDLORD'S BLACK-EYED DAUGHTER is not to be missed! Mary Ellen Dennis crafts a swift and bawdy tale that skillfully blends the classic poem The Highwayman with elements of historical romance and the Gothic novel—and manages a happy ending as well. Enjoy!" ~New York Times bestselling author, Mary Jo Putney "THE LANDLORD'S BLACK-EYED DAUGHTER by Mary Ellen Dennis is a rollicking romp of a read. It's everything an intelligent romance should be—adventure-filled, sexy, emotional, and just a down-right good time. Mary Ellen Dennis writes a beautiful novel." ~Gabriella Anderson, author of Temptation's Warrior "Rich with colorful characters and compelling events, Mary Ellen Dennis paints a vivid portrait of an incomparable moment in history. Eloquent! Romantic! Beautifully written!" ~Victoria Gordon, author of Finding Bess
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When Deni was in the third grade, she wrote her first story, THE PENCIL WHO GREW UP TO BE A STUB. Although the assignment was to write a one-page story, using an ink pen, Deni wrote a five-page story, first-person...and she used a pencil. Whereupon, she received a failing grade for not following orders. Just like diet guru Ellie Bernstein, Deni doesn't follow orders unless they make sense. 
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